Pride or Prejudice: Hollow Compliments Paid to Children in Multiethnic Families

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"When is a complimentment not a compliment? Our family is struggling to answer that question. Our lovely African American daughter, Emma Rose, has become weary of frequent compliments from strangers at stores, parks, school, and church. Frequent praise about her "gorgeous hair," "lovely eyes," and "glorious smile" have begun to make her feel uncomfortable. Why? Our children from China -- JinJin, MeiMei, and Shen Bo -- contend with similar emotions: an embarrassment at always being "noticed." And how does it feel for their white siblings, Brendan, Austin, John, and Sara?"

Link: http://www.nysccc.org/T-Rarts/pride.htm